Troll Thug 1: “Boss. We founds this frog tryin’ to escape. You wants us to mess ‘im up?”

Tonberry King: “Pleaze! Spare me! Here, you can have my crown! It is EX Rare! Or maybe money? I’ll give you 1,000,000 gil!”

Troll Boss: “Well, I’m in a good mood today. Give me1,000,000 gil and Moblina’s linkshell number and we’ll call it even.”

“Phew. That was close. Now fork over the cash, King, and let’s make like a wind elemental and blow.”

Tonberry King: “Uh, Fab. Might I borrow 995,000 gil?”

“...”

Troll Boss: “Well, boys, it looks like we have ourselves two new slaves. To the privies!”

“Great. Thanks to that sewage-for-brains king, I’m stuck on latrine duty for the next 100 crystal years...”

Troll Boss: “Hah hah hah hah! So the Goblin thinks he’s a comedian. Well, can you top this?”

Troll Boss: “So the other day I break up with my girlfriend, Lamia. She was so blue.”

Troll Thug 1: “But she wasa already blue to begins with, boss!”

Troll Thug 2: “Bada bing!”

Troll Boss: “But seriously. Did you hear about the guy, Drugar, who lost 50 ponzes overnight? He’s nothing but skin and bones.”

Troll Thug 1: “But he wasa already a skeleton to begins with, boss!”

Troll Thug 2: “Bada boom!”

The surrounding trolls applaud.

Troll Boss: “Thank you! Thank you very much. You guys have been a great audience!”

And with that performance, the Troll Trio realized their true calling and packed up to take their show on the road. And guess who gets to be their roadies? Ah yeah. Life is a highway.

Well, I’ve got to go. It was nice seeing everyone again, but I have one question... Why are you frivoling away your time reading an article about Troll stand-up, when you could be Assaulting your way to Fab-like glory? Now get out there and make the Fabmeister proud!

Note: The lighthearted monsters that appeared in this witty side-story are nothing like the fiends who will do everything in their power to crack open your skull and smear your spinal fluid all over the cavern walls. Happy hunting!